Egypt: By the Numbers (and Letters)*

• Days not in the United States: 133
  
• Days in Egypt: 125
  
• Countries Visited: 3 (5) (Egypt, Sinai Peninsula—formerly Israel, Italy, Sicily—Sicilians think they're special, Tunisia)
  
• Countries Visited (Airport Only): 1 (Deutschland)
  
• Time Spent in the First World: Four blissful days (Viva Italia!)
  
• Best Church in Italy: the Vatican / Chiesa de Jesu (tie)
  
• Floor Mosaics to Pope John Paul II in St Peter's: 2.
  
• View from the Dome of St. Peter's: priceless.
  
• Pope Benedict: XVI.**
  
• Flights Taken: 6
  
• Best Airline: Lufthansa/EgyptAir (tie)
  
• Worst Airline: United Airlines
  
• Ferries Taken: 1 (one too many, from Sicily to Tunis)
  
• Countries Entered Armed: 1 (sorry, Tunisia)
  
• Times Attempted to Download "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart:" 1 (failure)
  
• Most Thorough Security Check in Egypt: Beginning the Mt Sinai climb.
  
• Least Thorough: every other one.
  
• Best Newspaper Article: Anything Al-Ahram published about Mubarak.
  
• Times Grabbed on the Street: stopped counting.
  
• Times Verbally Harassed on the Street: generally 4-8/day.
  
• Days Spent Wearing Hijab: 4.
  
• Hours Spent in AUC's "gyms:" 10-12/week.
  
• Favorite Lunch: LE 1.25 for ful two blocks down.
  
• Second Favorite Lunch: LE 5 for koshary and Coke Light.
  
• McDonald's Milkshakes Consumed: 3.
  
• High-Speed Egyptian Internet: oxymoronic.
  
• Attractive Egyptian men: 0.
  
• Favorite Colloquial Vocabulary Word: mafeesh (there isn't), mumkin (perhaps. Means "no," or, alternately "give me money and we'll see.")
  
• Favorite Curse: *?#$@*/ (it's a good one)
  
• Favorite Study Abroad Pun: having a MISRable time.
  
• Favorite Proverb: "If you love, love deeply and passionately. If you steal, steal something worth it." (Lit.: "If you love madly, love the moon madly. If you steal, steal a camel.")
  
• Times Showing More than Six Inches of Shin in Mainland Egypt: 1.
  
• Times Showing Above in Cairo: 0.
  
• "T.I.E." (This Is Egypt) Moments: countless.
  
• "Masr Um al-Dunya" (Egypt: Mother of Civilization) Moments: see "T.I.E.".
  
• Days Violently Ill with Food Poisoning: better measured in months.
  
• Favorite Cat Living in the Dorms: Mango
  
• Best Place in Egypt: Dahab (located on the quasi-mythical Sinai Peninsula)
  
• Days Spent in Dahab: 6.
  
• Best Restaurant in Egypt: Ali Baba, Dahab.
  
• Best Beer Outside of America: Celtia (Tunisia)
  
• Best America Moment: Drinking Bud Light.
  
• Number of Military Checkpoints Successfully Cleared: 30-50 (I slept through a few in Sinai.)
  
• Number of Military Checkpoints at which my Presence was a Serious Issue: 1 (Hurghada)
  
• Scarves Bought: 25
  
• Belly Dancing Scarves Bought: 1
  
• Best Souvenir: Dahab paintings / Mobaco shirts (Camel Polos) (tie)
  
• Best View in Egypt: Dahab / Luxor Temple / Feluccas at Sunset
  
• Most Peaceful Place: The Catholic Cemetery in Coptic Cairo
  
• Favorite Egypt Quote: "You are in Egypt, now" –Tomader Rifaat
  
• Least Favorite Egypt Quote: "Welcome to Alaska" – Every man at every tourist location.
  
• Most Common Conversation: "Do you have a husband?" No. "Do you want an Egyptian husband?" No. "Then why are you here?" Good question.
  

*credit to Dan B-P for the idea

**again credit to Dan B-P for the joke.