A Day in the Life...

Wake up. The windows are closed, but the sounds of the street are easy to hear. Car horns. It’s only 730, but they’re going already. Turn on electric kettle to make tea, traipse to the bathroom. Make tea; check BBC and Facebook for news of civilization. Get dressed, put in contacts without using the mirror, return to bathroom to brush teeth and wash face. Try and be quiet because both roommates are still sleeping. Chat with a few stray Georgetown friends online and tell them to go to bed. It’s 200, you know.

Accidentally kick Sara’s turtle while crossing to the closet (it moved!). Sara’s alarms start going off at 800. And keep going indefinitely. Her phone alarm goes off (unheeded), clock alarm that beeps and plays the call to prayer at five daily intervals goes off (unheeded), phone rings (it’s her mother calling to wake her up, unheeded). Usually by 830 she’s answered the phone. Usually. The other roommate says Sara generally makes it out of bed by noon.

At 815, the children at the elementary school across the street start chanting as they do their calisthenics. You don’t think it sounds like “Death to America,” but it may well. They don’t enunciate terribly well. At 820, what sounds like a toy piano breaks into the chords of the Egyptian National Anthem. The entire student body begins to screech...Bilaady, bilaady, bilaaaaaadyyyyy… Next seems to be “Frere Jacques,” but you can never be sure.

Descend from the girl’s side of the dorms, exit dorms and board shuttle. It’s two seats on one side, one seat on the other, and a fold-down seat for each row across the aisle. If this bus needs to be evacuated, you should probably just curl up and pray because you won’t get out. Drive across the bridge from Zamalek to mainland Egypt. Join the collective wince upon seeing just how thick the smog is today. Try not to think that you’re breathing it.

Alight from the shuttle and accompany classmate to the feteer shop one block down. Stand while the feteer guys ogle you and necessary breakfast business is transacted. (Feteer is a tasty, flaky, well-oiled pancake rolled up with jam, sugar, or honey in the mornings and other things later. One costs 50 piasters, a whopping $0.09.) Return, and pass through “Security.” Walk through a metal detector that isn’t plugged in and open the main compartment of your bag (never mind it has at least 4 other compartments) for a cursory glance. Walk across Greek Campus (one of three campuses: Main Campus, Greek Campus, Falaki Campus) to the Social Sciences building for class.

Depart Social Sciences and Greek Campus for Main Campus. Avoid Gucci Corner, where the moneyed of the moneyed at AUC hang out. By this time rush-hours have ebbed somewhat. Cross the street with ease. Wait for two friends who aren’t quite as gutsy and haven’t quite mastered suppressing one’s urge for self-preservation. (It must be completely squashed before walking out in front of a bus five times a day.) Recall that this tactic will have you dead in Washington, DC within three days.

Head to the gym. Change in the bathroom stall because nobody changes by the lockers. Of the two spinning bikes, neither has the straps in the toe cages, and one has the cages completely busted off. Feel a little awkward since only American girls wear shorts and short sleeves, but there’s usually only one other Egyptian girl. Finish workout and head back to locker room. Grab clothing and jump into shower stall. Try to control that post-workout glow (and scent) with the hand-held shower that doesn’t actually have a working drain. Get your clothes a little wet. Oops. Change in the shower stall.

Exit shower stall and return to locker. Remember that you got the lucky locker: it faces Mecca. Everyone on campus uses the locker rooms to pray, so now there are five girls lined up praying right in front of your locker. You can’t exactly walk in front of them to put your stuff in. Wait fifteen minutes until you can dodge in and trade gym bag for textbooks.

Walk two blocks down to the ful and ta’amiyya place. Run the gauntlet of male stares from the hookah place attached. “The ful and ta’amiyya place” is a hole in the wall that serves pita halves filled with ful, ta’amiyya, baba ghanoush, potato chips, etc. Stand among hulking Egyptian men as the sole female or Caucasian and look so out of place that the guy inside the shop can’t help but grin. (An actual friendly grin, not a leer!) Usually be waited on before the men, and occasionally be permitted to step in front of men to place your order. Depart LE 1 poorer, with two pita halves filled with ful—mashed fava beans that taste mostly like refried beans. Rerun gauntlet. Remain thankful that nobody’s grabbed you yet today. Pass ambiguous picture of Sadat or MLK and return to cafeteria to consume ful and a cup of quasi-American coffee.

Run over to the copy shop to pick up reading for next week and order the following week’s. Laugh at how absolutely and unabashedly it violates any copyright laws. Cringe slightly since double-sided copying is unheard of, you’ve got 500 sheets of paper bound together for the next class.

Head to Falaki for class. Depart with 10 minutes until the next class and remember that it’s now 1430. School’s out for the three local elementary schools, so the streets are crammed with kids in uniforms. Get harassed by elementary-age boys (HELLO HELLO! SEXY? SEXY? as they poke at your arms and sides and occasionally stick out a leg to trip you to prove just how cool they are), get trapped behind the three slowest-walking girls in the entire universe.

Next class on Main Campus. Depart with 10 minutes until the next class. Streets are noticeably more crowded with cars at 1630. (i.e., more jammed than usual, making it even easier to cross) Make it to class on Greek Campus with enough time to run to the bathroom. It’s crowded with girls applying makeup and fixing scarves around the mirror. They give you a dirty look when you ask to please get by to make it to one of the bathroom stalls. One elbows you oh-so-accidentally as you pass and then laughs to the girl next to her. Since you’re white there’s no way you could understand what she says.

Finish class and book to catch the shuttle back. If the shuttle filled up, it left early and you’re screwed. If the professor talked a little too much, you’re also screwed. If the guy driving the 1900 shuttle got bored and decided to leave, you’re screwed. Taking a cab’s not a problem, but it’s LE 5 that you wouldn’t have to spend otherwise. Make the shuttle by knocking on the door and jumping on as it pulls away. No seats, so you stand in the door well. One block from the dorms (one and only destination of the shuttle), you hear the dreaded “Lo samaht?” (If you please?) A girl wants the bus to stop so she can climb out from the back and walk down her street—one block from where the bus is going to stop. Try and climb out of the door well so she can get out. Get hit by the door. Get off the shuttle at the dorms. Drop bag in room and try to decide what to do for dinner.

Head to the dorm’s cafeteria to view the evening’s selections. Long for Leo J. O’Donovan Dining Hall with entire being. Brainstorm with five other indecisive individuals about dinner. Know that you can go to a restaurant for about the same as the cafeteria, but the cafeteria is here and the food is also here, and at the restaurant food may not show up for another 30 minutes. Settle for cafeteria food. Try and remember what salad tastes like. Resolve to never again complain about Leo’s on Sunday nights. Feel more human after decompressing with people over dinner for forty minutes.

Return to room. Open window to air out room a bit. Plug in headphones to block out car horns as much as possible. Begin homework. Try to use Skype and call America. Fail miserably. Miss real high-speed internet. Finish homework to a reasonable degree around 200. Shower, climb into bed. Lather, rinse, repeat.